Almost exactly twelve hours ago, I hugged my parents and my dog goodbye and took to the road. Although I managed to keep up a tough front for the sake of my family, I found the tears inevitably catching up to me as soon as I was out of sight from their garage…
…just as they are threatening to now.
Don’t get me wrong, I am excited, but committing myself to moving over two thousand miles away from my childhood home and more has been one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. Still, I don’t regret it. I believe heading to the west coast and finding my place in Los Angeles is the best for me (all the modeling opportunities, the good schooling, the strong Japanese presence that I can relate with, etc)…
I just wish it hurt less right now.
I’m sorry. I meant to be more positive and write a happier post, but when it’s 1am and you’re sitting in a dark hotel room, all those equally dark thoughts can catch up to you. Putting up a disguise and feigning that this is simple and easy seems unfair for those of you who read this to learn more about me and who I am, so I figured… well, it’ll do me good to write it, so why not share it with you also?
I’ll be happy soon. I just need to adjust to these big changes now.
And such big changes they are.